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You shouldn’t have a man cave [Check out why]

There are plenty of good reasons to want or have a man cave. There are also some great reasons why you should not have a man cave. Let’s explore some of those reasons in this article.

Why you shouldn’t have a man cave

Here are some of the most important reasons why you shouldn’t have a man cave.

  1. You don’t have the space
  2. You don’t have money
  3. You want it to get away from your spouse
  4. You’re trying to get away from obligations
  5. You think it’ll solve all your problems

The most important idea behind these reasons is that a man cave should be a positive force in your life. Like everything in life, things can be used for good and bad. Be honest to yourself about your motivations and don’t let a man cave become a negative force in your life.

But ultimately, you don’t have to listen to me and you can do as you please. The reasons and explanations below are just my opinion and you should decide for yourself if you agree with it or not.

If you need some help convincing your partner, check out this article; 6 arguments to convince your wife you need a man cave.


1. You don’t have the space

The first reason is simple. If you don’t have any space in your house, you can’t have a man cave. Some people might be able to have a space outside of the house but that’s usually difficult.

I’ve explored the different rooms in the house you could use in an earlier article. Some are just out of the questions or very impractical to convert into a man cave. Some are great for the purpose, depending on your particular interests.

But if none of these are available, you don’t really have a choice. If you’re thinking about kicking out some of your children so you can convert their bedroom into a man cave, you probably haven’t got your priorities straight. If you try to get your space in a way that creates resentment, you might not enjoy it as much as you think you might.

To overcome this issue, you might have to get a bit creative. Are there any spaces outside the house you could use? Is it possible to build an extra room above the garage? Do you have a shed in the garden you could use?

Read more in this article about how big your man cave should be.


2. Your budget doesn’t allow it

To be more specific: You don’t have enough money in the budget for the things you want to do/buy for your man cave.

A very simple man cave would just be a space to be by yourself. This doesn’t have to cost anything if you’re just using an empty room. Most men would like to decorate it in a way they like and they will most likely want some cool toys, tools and furniture in there.

These things cost money. Some things obviously cost more than other things, but very few are for free. You could probably make something cool with free stuff but that’s not what most people want. If you want something you can’t afford, you’ll have to save up for a longer time or think of something else.

Having a Jay Leno type garage on minimum wage is not very realistic.

It entirely depends on what you want to do and buy and what your budget is. If you’re married you will likely have to negotiate with your partner on what is reasonable.


3. You want to get away from your spouse

Having alone time is great. Everyone should have some alone time, away from everyone and anyone. It’s healthy and I think one of the many positive and constructive ways to use a man cave.

One of the ways that is not positive in my opinion is to use it to get away from a spouse or family. As I said above, having time alone is good. Withdrawing yourself from your wife or family because you don’t want to interact with them at all is not good.

Having a man cave is about having more freedom and developing your interests and identity. If you use this space just to get away from your spouse or other family all the time, it’s almost like your building your own prison.

There might be times where your man cave will function as a getaway from someone or something. That can happen and might not be the worst thing in the world.

However, if you don’t have your own space yet and you’re already seeing it as your getaway, you might have more problems than can be solved by closing a door.


4. You’re trying to get away from obligations

This one is in the same vein as the last reason.

Of course a man cave is useful to relax and unwind from work and other stressful activities. That doesn’t mean you should use it as a way to escape all those things.

This is especially true for people who are not in a place where they want to be in life. Maybe you’re not in a place with your career, relationships, finances or health where you would like to be. If that’s the case for you, you’re probably better served by working on those things than by escaping them.

It’s one of the biggest objections your partner might have to you having a man cave. They are afraid that you’ll just withdraw yourself with all your toys and won’t come out anymore. That you’ll revert into a man child that plays with his toys all the time.

Read this article to see a couple of ways to convince your wife you should have a man cave.

As always there has to be a balance. You need time to relax and work on yourself. You also need to take time for family and other obligations. Too much of either one is likely to have an adverse effect on your state of mind.


5. You think it’ll solve all your problems

This reason might be a bit overstated but I think it covers what I would like to say.

Obviously, no one would think their horrible illnesses could be cured by having a room that is decorated the way they like.

More people might be susceptible to think that having a man cave will solve some type of mental problem they’re having. And actually, having your own space might be very beneficial in solving some of those problems. The key word being; “beneficial”.

Like taking vitamins is beneficial for supporting your health, having a man cave can be beneficial for your identity. But like vitamins support your immune system, which in turn can benefit your health, a man cave can give you some breathing room, time and opportunity to improve your life. Used by itself it doesn’t make your life better without you putting any other effort into it.

Or said another way, it’s not a quick fix. You’ll still have to put in the effort to transform your life into what you want it to be.

Buying a motorcycle doesn’t make you a Moto GP champion. Having a man cave doesn’t make you a masculine man. Both things can help you to get there though.

Afterthoughts


While there are very good reasons to not get a man cave, there are plenty of reasons why you should/could. Take a look at the following posts to find out reasons why, where and how.