Do you ever have the feeling that you’re not doing what you could be doing? The feeling that you’re not the man you can be? That you have capabilities as a man that are underused? The feeling that you have the potential to develop your masculinity and skills far beyond your current state? You’re probably right. Almost everyone can be more masculine and better performing than they are now.
Men are not realizing their full potential
Bad news first: you’re likely under performing. Many people are. Men in western society are especially performing badly. There are many signals that men are doing worse and worse.
- Men living at home at older age
- Male suicide
- Male enrollment in higher education
- Lack of financially secure men as cause for lower marriage rates
There are multiple reasons for this lack of performance. In my opinion one of the biggest reasons is the lack of masculine energy in many of these failing men. Many of these men feel almost emasculated and are afraid to tap into their masculinity to improve their life. Young men have been told too many times that masculinity is an “evil” force which causes them to be afraid to use it.
Many men have subdued their own masculinity to the point where they are very emasculated.
Yes you are
You might be wondering, if YOU are under performing. Sure, you know some people around you that could be doing better but you are doing alright. Right?
Well, that’s up to you of course. If you think you’re doing well and have no interest in improving your life, that’s fine. But in that case you probably wouldn’t be reading this post.
The good news
There is a silver lining to all of this. The fact that many men are underperforming means that there is a huge potential waiting to be unlocked. If we could find a way to get these men to realize even half of their potential, it would improve their life massively.
Meaning of masculine potential
The meaning of masculinity is covered in this post (click).
Potential is defined as: “existing in possibility: capable of development into actuality”
So masculine potential means two things in my mind:
- The possibility of becoming a more masculine man.
- The possibility of using masculinity to improve your life.
In my opinion they are closely related to each other. Working on becoming more masculine, tapping into your masculine energy, will give you the drive to improve your life.
What is your masculine potential?
There is no single answer for this question. Everyone is different. Everyone is capable of reaching different goals. The answer for 95% of people is: you can be better than you are now. You can be more masculine than you are now.
It depends where you’re starting from and how far you’ve let yourself go. It might sound like a cliché but; you’ve got no idea what you’re capable of.
Just know this, if you’ve already got the feeling you’re not doing what you could be doing, you haven’t reached your full potential.
The peak isn’t always visible from the bottom
Nobody really knows what the peak of what they’re capable of until they do it. An athlete that sets a new record might think they can do it but they’re not sure until they do. When you’re climbing a mountain you can’t always see the summit from where you are. You might not even be able to see the road to the top.
You can’t know what you’re capable of until you try it. Until you try to find ways and overcome the obstacles thrown your way.
Masculinity is the key to unlocking your potential
The problem we looked at in the beginning of this post is that many young men are not performing very well at the moment. That’s a problem for everyone. These men are not making money, not starting families, not starting businesses or living with their parents. Even if you’re doing better than that, there is likely room for improvement.
What does masculinity have to do with it?
Ok, there are some issues but why drag masculinity into it? Shouldn’t these guys just get of their butts and do something? Well, yes they should but it’s not that easy. There are big mental and societal issues for the people that are stuck at the bottom.
Masculinity and a masculine mindset can help massively in alleviating some of these problems. Masculinity is a collection of character traits, behaviors, mindset and physique. Masculinity is the thing that is missing for many men.
Masculinity can give men the tools to start changing their lives. The key to unlocking their potential. By lacking a certain amount of manliness, they are missing the masculine energy and drive that can propel them forward in life.
How does a lack of masculinity limit you?
Masculinity is a collection of traits and a mindset. That combination will create a drive to improve yourself. To create a better life for yourself and the people around you.
A lack of masculinity will cause people to be defeated by life. To cower in a hole like a defenseless rabbit facing a wolf. In this situation you’re just going to stay in the same place without moving.
Not moving means you are going backwards. At least compared to your peers. Let’s say you stay in your (stereotypical) mother’s basement playing video games. When you’re 14, that’s fine. 18, maybe OK. At 22 you’re getting behind what most other men around that age are doing. By the time you’re 28, most other people will look at you like; What the H*** is wrong with him?
Expecting results without effort
Being masculine and advancing your life takes effort. You’ll need to compete with others. You’ll have to take some risks and fail at times. These are all masculine traits.
People often get stuck because they’re afraid of failure and responsibility. They expect their life to just work out without accepting the risks and failures that living life brings. This is the opposite of a masculine mindset.
What are you missing out on?
There are plenty of things you miss out on if you lack the masculine drive and mindset to improve your life.
- Career
- Relationships
- Not reaching financial stability
- Feeling powerful
- Reaching your goals
Lacking a certain masculine force or energy makes people not willing to do the work to get these things and more.
So how can you tap into your male energy to improve your life?
How can you unleash your manly potential?
Since you don’t really know what you’re capable of how can you unleash your potential? It’s a process. Become a man and take life step by step.
1. Adopt a masculine mindset
The first step is to adopt the mindset. While you think your character isn’t very masculine, you’re likely just being limited by your own mind. Your mind is limited by years of stories that masculinity is bad and causes horrible things.
Adopting a masculine mindset can help you lift the veil off of your true character. Likely there is a much more masculine character under there than you might even be able to imagine now.
I’ve already written a lot about the Masculine Mindset here (click). The masculine mindset posts can help you get started on your way to become a more masculine man.
2. Set goals
After you start unlocking your true masculine nature, it’s time to start moving. What use is changing yourself if you don’t do anything with it?
You have to know in which direction you want to start moving however. Sure you can just start walking but, if you discover later you actually wanted to go the other way, you’ll have to track back.
Think about what you want to do with your life. Which goals do you want to reach?
You can set goals for;
- Career
- Finances
- Relationships
- Skills
- Character traits
- More
You can set end goals for these things. Now you can start to think about HOW you get there. Set partial goals that are easier to reach and give you a nice confidence boost.
Adding a time limit to these goals is a good idea.
Suggested post: Taking control of your life
3. Just do it
Now you know in which direction you have to start walking. DO IT!!
Action is better than inaction. Use the masculine energy you’ve started to discover in step one. Grab your new found balls and start taking action—one step at a time.
Starting to move is the most difficult. So just take your first step. The fact that you’ve started to move in the right direction is more important than how far you got.
4. Take risks
Taking action sometimes comes with risks. That’s a part of being human. Not even being a man. Although men are more likely to take risks.
The flipside of risk is reward. If you think the possible reward is worth the possible risk, do it. Everyone has a different appetite for risk. But if you’re coming from a situation where you were emasculated and not taking any risks, you should probably take a few more (calculated) risks.
If you’re not where you want to be AND you’ve not been taking any risks, that should tell you to change something.
5. Adopt responsibility
Take responsibility for the results of your actions. If you’ve been failing in life so far, accept that it’s your fault. If you’re taking action and failing, accept that that’s your fault as well.
You can always point the finger at someone else. People will always find a way to rationalize something to the point where they are completely absolved of all responsibility for their failures. There might be some truth in pointing fingers sometimes. However, it’s completely useless.
You can only change yourself
Pointing the finger at other people or things might make you feel better but, it’s not going to help you otherwise. You can’t change other people. You can change yourself and your behavior. Blaming other people for your failures isn’t going to change your life. It’s only going to make you angry at people, bitter and make you hate your life.
The only thing you can do is to change your mindset, take an honest look at yourself and see what you could do better. Become a masculine male and taking responsibility for your life and the goals you’ve set is much more conducive to improving your life.
Don’t know where to start? Working out is seriously the best way to not only improve your body but also your mindset. If you don’t feel like going to the gym, Matt, writer at homegymresource.com can help you with these 4 minimalist home gym setups.
Further reading
If you want to read some more ideas about masculinity, check out some of these posts:
