That statement seems really harsh, and it is. It’s a valuable piece of the masculine mindset to adopt however. The title might be a bit hyperbolic but you’ll see why I put it like this. What does it mean when nobody cares about you and what can you do? That’s what we’re here to find out.
For me personally it was a big change in mindset to fully realize nobody really cares about you. It has helped me to become less passive and actually do things. This has made me happier where sitting and waiting for others just made me angry and depressed.
As a man, no. pretty much nobody cares about you. As long as you’re not bothering people, nobody really cares. 99% of the people in this world probably will never even know of your existence.
Maybe your mom
Ok, maybe your mom cares about you a little bit if you’re lucky. If you’re very lucky you’ve got some good friends and family around you that care about you.
The world at large really doesn’t give a shit that you even exist.
Nobody is going to give you happiness
Well, if you’re borne in a rich family, you might have all the advantages in the world. You can do anything you want and not worry about how to survive. That still doesn’t mean you’ve got a life though. It doesn’t mean you can reach your life goals or even have them.
While for some people their goals are easier to reach than for other people, it still doesn’t happen by accident. And other people are certainly not going to give it to you. They might help if you ask for it, but don’t expect anyone to know what you want and make it happen.
Realize you can’t expect anything
You shouldn’t expect anything from “the world”. Most people are just busy with their own life. Doing their own things, trying to survive, etc.
Taking care of yourself already takes up a lot of time. Why would people that are doing that have time to care about you?
It’s not a right
You don’t have a right to the care of others. Caring about someone is an action. You don’t have a right to make other people do something. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing if those people choose to care about you, just don’t think they have to do anything.
Once you’re an adult, nobody is responsible for you. If you have people around you that really care about you and want the best for you, realize this is a privilege. You’re very lucky if you have that in your life. So make sure to appreciate those people.
No such thing as deserve
But I’m a good person, I do my best to care about other people, I’m a victim of (insert anything), etc. I deserve people caring about me and helping me.
Well, what you deserve doesn’t mean anything if people don’t give it to you. And maybe you don’t deserve as much as you think. Again, caring is an action. You don’t have a right to the actions of other people. If you have to force people to do something, it’s not really caring about you. They do something because you force them.
Waiting for it is useless
You can keep waiting for people to give you what you “deserve”. Guess what? It’s not going to happen. Most people don’t know what you deserve since they don’t know you. People that do know you might not want/be capable of giving you what you want/need.
That means if you keep waiting for other people to give you something, you are likely never going to get what you want.
Also, if something is given to you, you are much less likely to appreciate it. If you work to accomplish something you will feel much better about yourself. Look at lottery winners. They are given a load of cash. How many of them don’t know the value of it and waste all of it? Many lottery winners are broker than they were before they won in a couple of years.
What can I do?
Well this all sucks. What the hell can I do?
1. Life is unfair. It’s not personal
This could be the subtitle of this article. There are many things in life that are unfair. Nobody really cares that you might be having bad luck, and other people are having an easier time.
The quicker you realize that nobody cares about your struggles, the sooner you can start working on improving your life. If you get some help from other’s around you, that’s great but, you’re not entitled to it.
Yes, life is unfair and that sucks at times. Complaining about it isn’t going to do anything however. It’s very unlikely “the world” is especially targeting you. There are so many people in this world, why do you think the world cares enough about you to target you?
2. It’s the same for everyone
Don’t think you’re special. Nobody in this world is just given whatever they want. And if they are, often times they are very unhappy since they haven’t accomplished anything themselves. You can’t give someone happiness and fulfillment. You can only give it to yourself.
Your circumstances might be unique. The hole you have to dig out of might be deeper than others. Read the previous point again. No, life isn’t fair. That doesn’t mean you’re more likely to be cared about. In most situations you’re less likely to be cared about.
3. Take control of your life
Since nobody is going to hand you what you want in life, you have to take control of your own life. It’s the only way to get what you want. Are you guaranteed to accomplish your goals? No, life is unfair. By taking control of your life it’s much more likely that you will accomplish at least some goals than if you just did nothing.
Taking control means you start moving your life in a certain direction. If you sit still, the world might move but you’re not in control of the direction. That means the chance you’ll end up in the wrong spot is much bigger than if you control the direction.
4. Be the best person you can be
No matter where you start from, it’s always a good idea to try to improve yourself. Improving your social skills, health, financial situation, etc. is always going to improve your life in ways you might not have foreseen.
Don’t be happy with mediocrity. It’s going to kill your spirit. Not everyone can reach the highest levels of everything. Trying your best is still going to feel much better than giving up and rolling over.
5. Ask for help
Asking for help is difficult for many men. You might feel like you deserve something but you won’t ask for it. You should keep all the previous points in mind though. Life is unfair and you don’t have a right to anything other people have to do.
Just commanding; give me X, is not going to help at all.
Come up with a plan or something very specific you need help with. Then go to someone, tell them what you’re plan is, what YOU are going to do and why you need their help. That is much more likely to yield the results you’re looking for.
While you don’t have the RIGHT to anyone’s help, there might be some people in your life that will give you their help out of their free will.
If you liked this, check out some other articles on the masculine mindset;
Hi there. I’m BetterDaily. I’m a man in his early thirties that likes to travel, ride motorcycles, work out and write. Usually I write about men, things related to masculinity and things men like. Teacher by day, blogger by night.