One of the many facets of the masculine mindset is the idea that you must be dangerous. That might sound a bit shocking to you. There is a good explanation behind why I put the statement like that although it might be a bit more nuanced than that. Let’s explore, why, when and how.
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I don’t want to hurt people
The first question that will likely come to mind is: Why would I want to be dangerous? I don’t have a necessity to be dangerous and I don’t want to hurt people.
Well, the second one is absolutely a good thing. Are you sure about the first one though? Are there really no situations where you have no use for being or at being perceived as dangerous?
Control yourself
Being dangerous has nothing to do with actually hurting people. The two things are not necessarily connected to each other.
Something that’s dangerous has the possibility to hurt/damage/kill you or others.
While a dangerous activity has a chance of hurting you, you have little control over it. You never know when something is going to happen.
A dangerous person has a choice in what to do. He can choose not to hurt other people. He should choose to not hurt other people.
Of course if you are not able to make the right choices, make yourself as weak as possible.
Why to be dangerous
That still doesn’t explain why you would actually want to be dangerous. What’s the point? It just seems to add extra responsibility. Why would you choose that?
You want to be a good person (probably). Part of being a good person is not hurting other people. It’s only part of it though.
What if a situation arises where you do have to be able to hurt someone? When a drunk is threatening your wife/partner/child for example. While avoiding conflict is usually better, sometimes you don’t have a choice.
In those cases you really want to be able to be dangerous.
Good or weak
Good and bad cannot be equated to weak and strong. The inability to hurt anyone doesn’t make you good. Being dangerous doesn’t make you bad.
Sure some people are unable to be strong in some ways (but maybe not all ways). But if you choose to stay weak, you choose to be unable to protect yourself and the people you care about.
While you might be more likely to avoid conflicts (since you’re sure to lose), you’re also incapable of protecting others around you. Since you made a choice to be weak, you made a choice to be incapable. Do you think that makes you a good person?
Of course if you are a dangerous person and you choose to abuse that power, you are not a good person either.
So, you can see that the two are not necessarily related. It’s the choices you make.
If you are dangerous, you can stand up to the bully, not be one.
Types of dangerous
Of course when you say dangerous everyone just thinks of physical danger. That’s certainly a part of it but not the only way.
Physical
The most obvious way is to be physically dangerous. You can work out and practice a martial art to achieve some level of this.
You won’t only improve your strength but you’ll also build confidence and improve your health.
Don’t know where to start? Check out this post on how to start changing your physique.
Mentally
Mental strength is a bit more difficult to develop. There are many aspects to mental strength. Not all of them have to do with intelligence.
Most people can educate themselves about several topics. Read a book or find a podcast about something you’re interested in.
Another part of mental strength is “grit”. The power to keep going when things are difficult and not get distracted by things that are not important.
Socially
If you’re socially connected you got certain strengths as well. You’ll have more opportunities in life, and can mean something for other people.
By being socially connected, you are less likely to need to be physically strong since people like you. It also means you are more likely to get support when you need it.
Have the ability to be dangerous
A more nuanced way of looking at the title of this post would be this; Have the power or strength to be dangerous if you need to be.
Not having the option leaves you in a very weak position. On the other hand, if you do have the option, it’s less likely you’ll need it since it might deter others from putting you in positions where you’re likely to use your power.
Don’t be afraid to have the option. Being weak doesn’t make you a better person. If you have some strength, you have the responsibility to use it wisely.
How can I become more dangerous?
Maybe at this point you’re convinced that you should be stronger and therefore possibly more dangerous. How can you go about it?
There are a few things you can do;
1. Change your mindset
Seeing the title of this post, you might have guessed where this was going. I do really think that changing your mindset is the first and most important step in becoming a stronger and possibly more dangerous man.
The mindset: “I should be prepared for anything life can throw at me”
Is this actually possible? Probably not. Life has a way of throwing some curveballs. But being a little prepared is better than nothing. Being prepared for most things is better than being a little prepared, etc.
Suggested post: Realize you can always improve.
2. Train
Changing your mindset is just the beginning. Once you’ve changed your mind and decided you should improve, you actually have to do it. That means you have to train.
Become stronger, acquire some skills that can help you. Martial arts in general are good since good trainers will also focus on the importance of avoiding conflict if at all possible.
Don’t know where to start? Read this basic article on changing your physique.
3. Stay sharp
Mentally staying sharp is an important part as well. A strong person that’s making stupid decisions is certainly dangerous but not in the way you want.
Read, think, and eat healthy. Keep your mind clear so you can make good decisions.
Also, strength is not only physical. Mental strength is a very powerful asset and can certainly be a danger to some people.
4. Be friendly
Being powerful doesn’t mean you are an A**hole. You shouldn’t be out looking for opportunities to hurt people. Think big friendly giant.
Also, if you have more friends, you are much more likely to never have to use your strength.
Use your newfound power for good not evil.
5. Be in control
Once you become stronger it’s more important that you are in control. Since the repercussions of losing control get bigger, the stronger you become. If you have the power to protect the people around you, you also have a responsibility.
“With great power comes great responsibility”
Suggested post: You have to take care of you.
6. Be prepared
Think of situations you can possibly find yourself in. Then think about what the right way to handle the situation would be.
If you think about these things beforehand, it’s more likely you’ll make the right decision. If you decide in the heat of the moment, you might not make the correct choice.
Of course you can’t think of everything but it should be possible to cover the most common situations.
Suggested post: Nobody cares about you.
Summary
You want to have the option to be dangerous so you can protect yourself and others around you. While you shouldn’t be looking for trouble, having the option is better than not.
This means you have to be strong in different ways. Physically, socially and mentally. Getting there will likely need a change in your mindset. Having the power to be dangerous means you should be responsible. You have to prepare for what life might throw at you so you can stay in control.
If you found this useful, check out some of these other posts;
Hi there. I’m BetterDaily. I’m a man in his early thirties that likes to travel, ride motorcycles, work out and write. Usually I write about men, things related to masculinity and things men like. Teacher by day, blogger by night.
