Trying to figure out if you’ll still be fashionable if you’re going to get a man cave now? Or maybe you’re wondering if you’ll be able to use the basement for something else once your husband’s man cave goes unused? There are a few things to go over to find the answer so let’s get to it.
The first thing we should look at, is the purpose of man caves.
“What’s the purpose of a man cave? A man cave has more than one purpose. The most important is to have a private space for alone time or a room to hang out with some friends. This time can be used to get back in touch or further develop their identity and masculinity.“
If something doesn’t have a purpose, it won’t last. If something loses its purpose it will disappear over time.
It seems that the current cultural climate is not going in a direction that removes the purpose of a man cave. In fact the opposite seems to be true.
One of the biggest reasons why man caves even exist, are the cultural changes that have taken place over the last decades. Most of these changes have been very bad news for the image of masculinity.
Demonization of masculinity
Masculinity has been demonized for years. Phrases like; “toxic masculinity” and “fragile masculinity” have been thrown around a lot by a certain group of people. This hasn’t been without its effects. Many men are getting afraid of being perceived as masculine. Being masculine is seen as having many drawbacks without any benefits.
Men are being blamed for many of the problems in the world at the moment. That has resulted in many men thinking that being masculine is something to be avoided. This makes sense since many men don’t want to be seen as evil or bad.
Other men have gone “underground” and will only be able to act masculine in situations where they feel comfortable. Hence the man cave. A space where men can be men.
Invasion of male spaces
Besides the general demonization of masculinity, there is also an “invasion” of traditionally male spaces. Before, there were spaces where men could be themselves without being self-conscious.
I’ll leave the judgment if that’s a good or bad thing up to you for now.
Whether you think it’s good or bad doesn’t change the fact that there are less spaces where men can be men. Since many men still like to have spaces where they can just hang out with other men, they start looking for other options.
Of course it really depends on the personal situation. Some men don’t feel the need to have their own personal space. They got enough time and space to be alone or with friends.
There can be other reasons why some men don’t want a man cave;
- No space
- No money
- No hobbies that need space
- Other spaces to hang out and engage in hobbies
Not everyone has the same requirements for alone time, etc.
So what’s going to happen with man caves in the future?
How long are man caves going to last?
As long as they’re necessary. The reasons for having a man cave aren’t becoming obsolete. Alternatives are getting rarer with the attacks on masculinity. Attacking someone will make them defensive. A man cave can almost be seen as a defensive position. That might seem a bit hyperbolic but that’s how many men feel. If the attacks on masculinity keep coming, men will dig in deeper.
At the moment there are very few signs that the circumstances that have created man caves are such that will make them less necessary.
Hopefully in the future, society will find a way to deal with gender differences in a better way. Even then there will be men with a personal situation that will make them want a man cave.
So for now, man caves are going to last quite a while longer.
While the reasons for having a man cave might be plentiful it’s not like there aren’t any alternatives.
Many men caves are built around a theme or hobby. These hobbies and interests often have other places where similarly interested people can gather.
- Having a drink with friends
- Working on cars/motorcycles/other
Above are just a few examples of hobbies that will have places where people with the same interests gather. Most of the time these places are not absolutely 100% male but, that’s not necessary for most men. They just need a space where they can be themselves. Feeling like a place is “masculine” is often enough.
In the future there is a possibility that men will go to these places just like always. But if they feel like they’re being invaded by women, that would force more men to get their own man cave.
What about MY man cave?
So what about the man cave in your basement or elsewhere? How long is that going to last? Well, is it still being used? If it is, It’s going to last for a while longer. Ok, obviously but, for how long?
It depends on why your man wants his man cave? What are the reasons? Maybe your man just needs a space for himself to do whatever he needs to do. It can be a room for quiet time, to think, to have a peaceful place to have a drink and read a book. Or maybe it’s a private room for his hobbies without being disturbed and his things being messed with.
A man (usually) doesn’t want a man cave to run away from his problems. Of course if the problem lives in the house with him and refuses to be pleasant, he might want to get away from that. Making the environment outside the man cave more hospitable will probably want to make him use it less.
In the case it isn’t used anymore, you can try to talk about it to your man. Don’t expect it to be easy though. Trying to get rid of the man cave is going to feel like losing a war. It’s like giving up ground in a battle.
If it has been completely unused for a long time, try to find a solution that is beneficial for both parties. Don’t push getting rid of it. It’ll only make him keep it for longer.
There are good reasons for man caves existing. Those reasons are supported by big cultural changes over the last years. That means that the man cave becomes more useful and attractive. In general, man caves won’t disappear for a long time. They might go by a different name but, the end result will be the same. On a personal level there might be circumstances that make a man cave redundant though. But that really depends on the personal situation.
Suggested post: It’s OK to be a masculine man.