How do confident masculine men behave? I have written some posts on the big picture ideas around the character traits and behaviors of masculine men. But what about the little things? There are plenty of tiny mannerisms that confident masculine men exhibit.
9 Confident Masculine Mannerisms:
- Not afraid to speak, not afraid to be quiet
- Take up space
- Controls his emotions
- Is proud of his achievements but doesn’t show off
- Being really into something
- Not afraid to say no
- Good posture
- No fidgeting
- Good eye contact
If you like this, you’re probably interested in these articles:
- How to look more masculine [7 Tips]
- What makes a man masculine?
- How to get a more masculine voice
- 8 things confident men never do.
1. Not afraid to speak, not afraid to be quiet
Confident men are not afraid to be heard, seen, noticed, etc. On the other hand they’re not afraid to be quiet for whatever reason either. What they do or don’t do isn’t dependent on others. It’s dependent on what he wants to do or thinks is best.
Confident men are their own person and do what they want. That doesn’t mean they never think about others, just that they value themselves and their opinion enough to follow that most of the time.
Make sure to check out “9 Tips to get a more masculine voice”
How to improve?
If you’ve got something to say, say it. Take your time and speak up. If you’ve decided you have something that’s worth hearing, make sure everyone can actually hear it. Don’t speak too fast or too quiet. On the other hand, don’t scream either. Use a projecting voice that’s suitable for the situation.
But if there isn’t anything useful to say or you don’t have the knowledge to have an opinion, just stay quiet and listen. Don’t make a fool of yourself by spouting uninformed nonsense. When asked directly you can just say; “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”.
While acting masculine is a great start, wouldn’t it be better if it came naturally to you? Check out the program “Masculine Core”. It’ll help you awaken the masculine that’s waiting inside of you.
2. Take up space
A masculine man is not afraid to occupy their space. This is especially true in social situations.
When he sits down, he’ll use the armrests and isn’t afraid to take the space he needs. Not excessively so but, as much as he needs. He doesn’t put his hands in his pockets or keeps his arm crossed. A confident man doesn’t constrain himself.
What do you think when you see someone trying to look as small as possible (in a social situation)? You automatically you’re looking at a weak, insecure loser. This might be true or not but that’s how you perceive that person.
How to improve?
- Don’t cross your legs when sitting
- Keep your hands out of your pockets
- Use your arm while talking. Don’t cross them
- Put your arm on something
3. Controls his emotions
Staying in control of your emotions is a very powerful masculine mannerism. A masculine man doesn’t let his emotions control him. Sure there are times where they get angry, upset, etc. But masculine men don’t let those emotions take over their behavior and decisions.
Men have to be the reliable base the lighthouse is built on. A man that lets his emotions control him can’t be the stable force. It’s unfair, deal with it.
How to improve?
In general, men are already better at controlling their emotions than women. There is always room for improvement however.
- Notice when you’re emotional. When you notice this, ask yourself if it’s a good idea to make decisions at that moment.
- Take a deep breath before you do anything.
- Do you have to do something immediately? If not, wait until you calm down. If you have to do something now, stay rational. Try to unify your brain and your heart.
- Think about the consequences of any choice you make.
4. Is proud of what he’s achieved, doesn’t show off
Confidence doesn’t often come out of nowhere. Many times there are things that give someone confidence. This can be something you’re born with like looks. But often it can be an achievement of some sort. This might not be the only thing that causes someone to be confident but it has a big chance of kick starting a positive feedback loop.
The confident man will be proud of his achievements. If you ask about them, he’ll be happy to share. He won’t be throwing it in your face everywhere though. True confidence isn’t ONLY that achievement. It’s an internalized feeling of worth and capability.
How to improve?
- Take some time to think about what you’re proud of in your life.
- Use that to gain confidence.
- Don’t feel the need to bring up your achievements all the time.
5. Being really into something
Men tend to get really into something. They have to know everything about it and/or be the best in that particular field of interest. It can be anything. Or rather, it can be anything skill or knowledge based.
When men find something that interests them, they tend to learn everything there is to know, practice hours a day, and spend lots of money on it if they can.
It can be anything really. Sports, DIY, Career, Cooking, etc. Some things are more attractive to men than others but name anything in the world and you’ll find a man who’s passionate about it.
How to improve?
It’s difficult to consciously improve this mannerism since it’s something that comes natural to many men. If you don’t have this, maybe you just haven’t found something you really like. Try lots of different activities. Especially things you think you don’t like or won’t be good at. Maybe you’ll find something you’ll become passionate about.
A great way to work on your passion is in a man cave. Check out the man cave section on this site here (click).
6. Not afraid to say no
Part of being confident is to value yourself in the right way. Valuing yourself means you don’t let people mess with you, tell you what to do. A masculine man knows what he’s worth and makes sure he’s treated in a way that reflects that. Since things are not usually given to you, he makes sure that he gets what he deserves. It also means he isn’t afraid to say “no” to things.
Saying no is a form of valuing yourself. Sure, sometimes you have to do things you don’t like but, you have to be able to make that choice for yourself.
How to improve?
Ok, everyone knows how to say the word. The problem is knowing when to say it. Here are some tips to discover for yourself when you should say no.
- Set limits for yourself. Whatever the situation is. What do you NOT want to do?
- Set priorities. What’s more important to you? Working overtime or having dinner with your family? If there is a conflict, you’ll have to say no to at least one person.
- Be realistic about what you can do. Sometimes you don’t have the capacity to do something else. Everyone needs downtime to recover.
- Think back to when you said ‘yes’ but regretted it. Say no next time
- If you know there is a situation coming up where you have to say ‘no’, practice.
- Assess if the request is fair and reasonable.
- Assess if it’s within your capabilities to comply with the request.
7. Good posture
One of the easiest tells of a confident man is good posture. People that have bad posture are often insecure, feel beaten down, sad, etc.
Take note of how you handle your posture when you feel bad vs. when you feel great. Chances are that when you feel good, you stand up straighter, head up, shoulders back, etc.
When you feel confident, your posture will likely be better and people can see that. Good to know: It works the other way around as well. Adjust your posture and you’ll feel more confident immediately. You’ll feel more confident AND people will treat you differently. Win-win.
How to improve?
Your body is built to work together. Fixing your posture isn’t one exercise. You have to diagnose what is wrong and how you can improve this. If you need help, a good physical therapist can tell you what you should improve and how.
Here are some general tips that should get you started
- Work out. And if you already do, don’t forget your back. Your back muscles are important for posture.
- Stand up straight. Imagine there is a string on the back off your head pulling you up.
- Keep your chest up
- Shoulders back and down
8. No fidgeting
Fidgeting is a sign of insecurity. Touching your face, quickly moving your legs, tapping your fingers, etc. Confident masculine men don’t display these kinds of behavior. It displays anxiety, feeling bad, feeling pressured. Confident men have no reason to display these behaviors. They’ve got nothing to worry about. And if they do, they can control their emotions to the point where they don’t display it outwardly. Masculine men have confident movements.
How to improve fidgeting?
How can you make your movements look more confident? How can you control your body language to look more masculine?
- Become aware. Without awareness it’s difficult to change. Take note when you keep touching your face, twitching your leg, etc.
- Once you become aware, stop it as soon as you notice it happening
- When you feel anxious or stressed, pay extra attention, that’s when it’s likely to happen.
- Try some techniques to relax yourself. Breathing techniques are easily done everywhere.
- Move in slow motion. At least feel like you do. Slowing down your movements makes a huge difference in how you carry yourself.
9. Good eye contact
Eye contact is probably one of the most important parts of body language. Confident men don’t avoid eye contact. Avoiding eye contact is a sign of submission. Looking away quickly is a sign you don’t want any confrontation and are scared.
On the other hand keeping eye contact for too long might make people think you’re a creep or “intense”. It’s a difficult balance to get right. It’s something that confident men use to their advantage although it’s usually unconscious.
How to improve?
Eye contact is a difficult thing to get right. You can do too little but also too much. Practice is important. Trying out things and see what works will help you improve. Here are a few quick tips;
- Try to stretch the amount of time you can look someone in the eye little by little. Only can do it for half a second now? Try a whole second the next time and two seconds after that. Just when you want to look away, force yourself to keep eye contact for a few moments longer.
- If you can’t look someone in the eye at all, pick another spot on the other persons face and look at that. Between the eyes is a good spot to start. For the other person it’ll be nearly impossible to see the difference.
- As with fidgeting, try to slow down your eye movements a little bit.
- Mirror your partner’s eye contact. If he/she looks away, you can look away as well. Don’t do it immediately however. You don’t want to seem like you’re copying them. Wait one or two seconds before you look away as well.
These things are a lot to think about if you also have to talk at the same time. Go slow and improve over time.