One of the biggest challenges you face while planning your man cave is not picking the room, decorations or furniture. For many men it’s convincing their wife/partner to let them use a space in the house for “selfish” reasons that’s the biggest challenge.
Ways to convince your partner you need a man cave
Here are the six arguments that should help you convince your partner. These are arguments that are not only good for you but also for her. A negotiation work better if you’re going for a win-win situation. Seeming selfish is probably a quick way to piss off your partner.
- Everyone needs alone time
- She can have more alone time if you do.
- It will help you relax. That will probably make you a more pleasant person.
- Your hobbies are contained in your space
- You have a place for visitors
- You can work on yourself.
Many women don’t understand why you would want such a thing. This article aims to help you have some better arguments than “I want it” because that just makes you sound like a child. The reasons in this article are an attempt at a slightly more mature discussion.
That was a very quick version. Now, if you’ve got a bit more time and are just preparing for an upcoming conversation, let me go a little deeper into these reasons. It might be a good idea to read up on negotiating in general. This article on Forbes is a good start.
Most of you will probably know this but I thought it was important to point out for the few that don’t.
You’re not looking to annihilate your partner in a discussion. If you succeed, she might agree to letting you have your man cave but she’ll probably resent you for it. If you win, she is the loser. Why would you want to live with a loser?
That means you can’t enjoy your man cave to the fullest extent because your partner will (unconsciously) want to make you feel bad for using it. The best way to get what you want is to make your partner see that it will benefit them as well. That way she will actually feel good about your man cave which in turn makes you feel more comfortable about using it.
That’s why the reasons and arguments given in this article
are meant to create win-win situations for both people. In my opinion that kind
of argument is much more likely to win other people over than by completely
obliterating their point of view. Defeating people only creates resentment.
1. You need alone time
Having alone time is good for everyone. Here is an article by psychotherapist Amy Morin that outlines seven science-backed reasons why spending time alone is good.
The benefits of alone time outlined in the article;
- Alone time increases empathy
- Being alone increases productivity
- Solitude sparks creativity
- Being by yourself can help you build mental strength
- Solitude may reduce behavioral problems in children (so give them a role model)
- Being alone gives you time to think about your life.
- Alone time helps you know yourself better and makes you more comfortable in your own skin.
If you want a deeper explanation of these reasons, you can read the article linked above.
2. She can have alone time
All the reasons listed above are just as valid for women as for men. You having alone time also gives her some alone time.
It might help to tell your partner why you want alone time. Give them a couple of the reasons above that resonate with you. Just telling someone: “I want to be alone” might sound to them like “I don’t want to be around you”.
3. If you’re more relaxed, she will be as well
Having alone time and spending time on your hobbies will most likely cause you to have less stress. Stress can be good in certain situations but most people in the developed world are suffering from chronic stress. Chronic stress has all kinds of detrimental effects on your mental and physical health.
If you can lower stress levels through alone time, working on hobbies, playing some games, etc, your body and mind will thank you.
When your mental and physical health improve, you will actually have more energy and capacity to do things with/for your partner. Less stress will most likely also cause you to be calmer and more collected so your communication with your partner can be more effective. This will improve your relationship and will probably cause less stress for your partner.
4. Your hobbies are contained to a certain space
Most hobbies require some tools, supplies, storage, etc. If you’ve got your own space where you can keep all the things you need for your hobbies, they won’t be in other parts of the house.
You can have all the things you like want and need together in your own space. No need to leave things all over the house, cluttering spaces they don’t need to be. The result of things being in places where others don’t want them is that they get moved around and possibly don’t get the treatment you would like them to get.
If you have your own space, you have everything together, it’s not in the way of other people and it only gets touched by you. That seems like a win-win situation to me.
5. You can have people over without disturbing others
Forming bonds with other men is important for several reasons. Having a strong social network is healthy for everyone. It can help you in times of need. It can help you discovering new things and interests. It can help you in your professional life. In a masculine environment, you probably share different things than otherwise.
In short, the right friends can make your life better. If your life is better, your partner’s life will likely be better as well.
Wondering what type of man want’s his own man cave? Click here to find out.
6. You can become a better person.
Having a man cave can give you an opportunity to relax as well as improve yourself. Who doesn’t like it if their partner is working to improve themselves? You becoming a better person will probably benefit your partner as well as yourself.
Possible ways you could possibly improve yourself in your man cave:
- You are more relaxed because you have time and space to do what you like.
- Lower stress levels can improve your mental and physical health.
- You can learn new skills.
- You have an opportunity to read more.
- Finding your identity will most likely make you more attractive to her.
- Improving yourself and becoming more confident might give you more opportunities in other parts of your life.
- You can form new/stronger bonds with friends. A good social life can make you a happier and stronger person.
All the reasons given in this article are attempts to let your partner see that you having your own personal space is a win-win situation for all parties
Although I personally think that a man cave is a good thing to have for many men, I can also see that it’s not always feasible. If your situation just doesn’t allow you to have a man cave because you don’t have space, money or time for example, arguing with your partner isn’t going to do much to help you.
With that said, good luck!! I hope this article got you a little closer to realizing your dream.
Hi there. I’m BetterDaily. I’m a man in his early thirties that likes to travel, ride motorcycles, work out and write. Usually I write about men, things related to masculinity and things men like. Teacher by day, blogger by night.